Friday, February 22, 2013

Transitions in Marriage

During lecture this week, we talked about the trends of marriage-fewer, people are marrying later, more people are alone, and divorce rates are higher. Why aren't people getting married? Some of the reason that we discussed were that more people are cohabitating (living together before marriage) today than ever before, it's more convenient to not get married and get "tied down", and people are afraid to be in such a serious relationship-afraid to be a provider for their families.

It's funny to me that so many people choose to cohabitate because they think that living together before being committed will help them to "test the waters" and try it out. Yet, people who cohabitate are actually less likely to have successful marriages. Interesting.

We also discussed how the most common time for a couple to get divorced is between 2-5 years into the marriage. Why? One answer: Children. This is typically the time in a marriage that couples start to have or try to have children. It only makes sense that children add stress to a couples relationship and if they do not learn to manage that stress, they pull apart. There is also the possibility that the couple is trying to have children and no matter what, they can't seem to conceive. This would be another stressor to the couple, which again could pull them apart.

With each consecutive child, a couples happiness levels go down. Why? STRESS. The more stress a person is under, it only makes sense that the less happy they would be. But this doesn't mean we dont have children or that we are doomed to end our marriages. If before a couple has children, they ensure that there relationship is as solid as a rock and that they are as happy as can be, then when the children come along, the ding that comes with them wont be as bad. Plus there is always the day to look forward to when each child leaves the home and the couples level of happiness increases.

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